BRAD MARTIN
ROAD KILL – DAY ONE & TWO – JULY 1-2 – KOREA
Off to Osan AFB, Korea for a big 4th of July celebration. This is NOT a USO tour. I contracted directly with the base, which is definitely the best way to go. I like to be “in charge” of the situation. Imagine that! Chely Wright and her band plus Jolie Edwards and her band and Danni Leigh and Brad Martin are performing. Jolie’s band will be backing Danni and Brad. The “big group” departed Nashville and we met everyone else in Minneapolis. Smooth as clockwork – no delayed flights, no “lost” passengers. We boarded the plane for the long (12 hours) flight from Minneapolis to Tokyo, then on to Seoul. The artists were upstairs in business class. I got on before most of them and got “situated” with all my carry on bags. A man walked down the aisle past me with the worst body odor I’ve experienced in a LONG time. Then the artists got on and found that he was sitting across from Chely, in front of Brad and right beside Chely’s road manager. It was so bad, I didn’t think they would be able to eat. I had a bottle of “Shower in a Bottle” with me and we thought we should wait until he fell asleep and “spray him down”. Chely’s road manager got up and came and sat in an empty seat by me on the flight. When the man leaned his seat back to sleep, I think Brad nearly passed out. It was really, really bad. Even the flight attendants were referring to him as “Mr. Stinky”. It made me paranoid, so I got out the deodorant and “shower in a bottle” and freshened up just to be sure. I KNOW we all smelled like this in Iraq because of the way we were sweating in the 120 degree heat. But, we ALL smelled bad and I suppose you just don’t notice it as much. Other than that, it was an easy flight. When we started to de-plane, I was going down the stairs and unbeknownst to me, my zipper pull on my backpack caught the button on the man behind me. I was literally dragging him down the stairs before he could stop me. Short layover in Tokyo then a 2 ½ hour flight to Seoul. Had a 2 hour bus ride from Seoul to Osan. Hotel on base is fabulous. All the artists have suites and there is a DSL line, washer/dryer, iron/ironing board in the rooms. What luxury. Our host met us at the airport with two nice, large buses. Everything is running waaaayyy too smoothly. I think we are “due” after the Kuwait/Iraq trip…. It’s 4:00 am and I have to get up at 6 am to jog. Off to bed.
DAY THREE – ROAD KILL – July 3rd – Osan, Korea Such. 2 hours sleep is pushing it even for me. It was drizzling rain at 6 am, but I was determined to get in my 5 mile jog. Front desk told me that the best place to jog was along the flight line. I didn’t take their advice for 2 reasons. One – the last time I tried this was in Rota, Spain and my artist and I somehow ended up on one of the runways with emergency vehicles chasing after us! Two – as most of you know, I have absolutely no sense of direction (strange that 50 plus artists/musicians are willing to follow me around the world, huh?). The best way for me to get my bearings is to go jogging, get lost, and have to find my way back. So, that’s what I did this morning. I know where EVERYTHING is on the base now. J Came back and logged onto AOL and got quite a shock. The home page that comes up when you sign on to AOL had the Kid Rock photo in Baghdad on it with ME standing right behind Kid Rock. This is the photo that I would never have recognized myself in (sunglasses, sweaty, all my makeup GONE) but Chely’s fan club president scanned it from “In Touch” magazine last week and emailed it to me. Seeing that flashed on my computer screen first thing in the morning was like walking into the post office and seeing my photo on a wanted poster. Thankfully, it was only up there for one day. First little snag – vehicles didn’t arrive at 7:30 for the breakfast pickup. But, it was quickly remedied and those wanting to eat were taken care of. I, of course, had to shower and get on email. First casualty of the tour occurred (there’s always at least ONE) this morning. I won’t name any names but one of the musicians didn’t show up for lobby call. He was still asleep when I called his room and advised me that he was just going to “catch up with us at lunch”! The first order of the day was to get id cards issued so that we had access to all the base facilities — obviously, an important agenda item. So, we got that sorted out and I don’t think he’ll be late again. The artists went to AFN and did about 30 minutes of on-air interviews. Then we met up with the rest of the group and began our base tour. First stop was a tour of the U-2 spy planes, which was awesome. I had toured one of these in Istris, France several years ago and knew that our group was in for a treat. It was fascinating to see the “space suit” that the pilots have to wear. They were most impressed with the food (which is a tube that is squeezed into the mouth – apple pie, etc.) and the little contraption that the pilots wear for their – okay – how do I put this – when they need to use the restroom. There is a different contraption for the male and female pilot. Our host – I think his name was Mason or Jeff (I’m horrible with names and I try SO hard) – was giving us the briefing. Chely asked him when was the last time that a U-2 was “lost”. He said, “I’m embarrassed to say that it was right here and I was the pilot”! He had engine failure and said that he had to glide for about an hour, then tried a couple of spirals and then the plane iced over (it was last February in Korea). He had two compressed vertebrae from the ejection. He hasn’t been able to fly since then but hopes to be back out soon. Really brings “home” how dangerous the missions are that these guys fly and makes us appreciate them even more. I was wearing my F-16 pin from Kunsan so they gave me a U-2 pin to go with it. (My plan worked! J) From there we went to see the A-10 which was also fascinating. “Mango” was our host there – I remember that one! Guys (and gals) got to get up close and personal with some major weapons. It was a great morning for everyone. We had one of the best lunches ever on a military installation. There is a new dining hall here and there was even food that wasn’t fried or loaded with calories. After lunch, we departed for the 2 hour bus ride to the DMZ. I’ve toured the DMZ dozens of times but find that I always learn some new tidbit of information with each visit. Today was no exception. Things have definitely changed since my visit last October. We now are required to sign a release form stating that we know we’re going into a war zone and could be killed. We had about a 10 minute briefing with a slide show and then took a bus along the DMZ. Got to go into the conference room and have our photo taken with the ROK (Republic of Korea) soldiers. There are more ROK soldiers serving in South Korea than American, Swedish, and Swiss. The soldiers are the “top of the line” in intelligence and physical training. The \ROK soldiers all have or receive their black belts during their tour of duty. ROK soldiers are required to serve 24 months while our guys are only here for 12 months. It is a “hardship” tour and they are not allowed to bring their families with them. Very hard on our guys and girls. Took the 2 hour bus trip back and went straight to an “Italian buffet” dinner which was also excellent. Some of the guys are going into town to check out the bars. I warned them about the necessity of having an escort with them at all times. So, now I’m in my room, answering email and writing road kill reports. Hope to get in bed before 1 am as I have a 5:45 lobby call. Tomorrow is the big 4th of July celebration!
ROAD KILL – DAY 4 – JULY 4TH!!!! So much for my plans to sleep. Went to bed at 1:30 am and got up at 4:00 am to go to the gym. It’s a 24 hour fitness center, so I don’t have any excuse to miss a workout. When we arrived, they were forecasting rain but today it was beautiful outside…except very hot. Everything ran really smoothly – sound checks were on time and all the equipment we asked for was there. Then it came time for the show and it started raining! Not hard, but the stage wasn’t covered and it was too dangerous for the artists to go on with all the electrical equipment surrounding them. The buyer decided to take several of the tents on aluminum poles that were being used for concessions and put these on stage. They worked just fine. Danni was on first and they loved her. Then Jolie went on and also blew everyone away. A local Korean band played next and they were great musicians and “interesting” to say the least. Brad performed after the Korean band and I was amazed by what a beautiful voice he has. I had not seen him perform until today. Then Chely came on and the crowd went wild. Everyone who came up to us after the show said it is the best concert ever to be held at Osan AB. Chely called everyone up on stage for the finale and also called me up – which I hate! I’m good on the other side of the stage telling them what to do but not up on the stage facing the audience. She told the audience that I was responsible for bringing not only that tour to the base but the numerous other tours I’ve coordinated for the military. It was so sweet of her but she asked me some questions and I was too tongue-tied and scared to answer coherently. When we were doing autographs after the show, one young female soldier came up and said, “For a few hours, you made me forget that I’m overseas. Thank you for making me feel like I was back in America!”. THAT’s what it’s all about. The squadron commander – Bob Edmundson – opened the base steakhouse for us and we had a private dinner after the show (midnight, thank you!). Everyone has been so kind to us and the facilities – the rooms, the gym, the commissary, everything – on this base are superior to most of the bases I have visited. I understand that Bob is responsible for most of that. It was a beautiful, memorable way to spend the 4th of July – saying thank you to the men and women who make it possible for us to be able to “celebrate”. Tomorrow is a day off to go shopping. The main shopping street is right outside the front gate and it’s been killing me not to be able to get out there. Kamikaze shopping tomorrow, I can assure you!!!!
ROAD KILL – DAY FIVE – JULY 5TH I got 4 hours of sleep. I’m a new woman! Jogged my 5 miles this morning and getting ready to go shopping. All the “girls” on the trip are of the same mindset. We are so excited about the fact that we have irons and ironing boards and a washer and dryer in our rooms! We all discussed the fact that we are planning to wash all our clothes before we leave so we won’t have to do this when we return home. Only another woman can relate to what a “luxury” that is. (Guys, see how easy we are to please? J) So, I started my wash this morning. It’s one of those “stacked” washer/dryer combos and it’s located behind a set of double doors (Jolie was scared to open her doors because she thought it went into another room). When it got to the spin cycle, the whole thing took off across the room. There was this incredibly loud noise as the clothes were spinning around and it just jumped right out of the little “closet”. I hit the “off” button but it took it about 60 seconds to come to a stop. Now I can’t get it back in the “closet”. You KNOW I work out and I’m pretty strong. But, I put my back into it and it won’t budge. Got to warn the others about this. I forgot to tell about the little machines in the ladies rooms in Japan. When you go into the “stall” there’s a little box on the wall that is has a “modesty button”. You push it and it either plays music or makes the sound of flushing. It’s supposed to be used to cover “embarrassing” noises….only the Japanese would think of this. We only had one “misfire” at the show last night. The fireworks were scheduled to begin at exactly 9 pm. We started the show late because of the rain and we were trying to catch back up all evening. We were pretty much on time. Then Chely came out and did a stellar performance and the audience kept her on longer than we anticipated. Just as she was beginning the “finale”, the fireworks began. But, the audience stayed and watched the finale and which then had a beautiful “backdrop”! The Commander did tell me that this show set the attendance record for any “community sponsored” event. Over 7,000 people were on the grounds and when Chely performed, they estimated between 4,500-5,000 watching the show. Shopping was as usual – incredible. Guys who have NEVER worn a suit in their lives were plunking down $150-200 for tailor-made suits. It is just “overload” for me. I had a wonderful Korean lady helping me get the “A” quality bags. The knock-offs are displayed in the stores, but to get the better quality, more expensive bags, you need a “local” with you. The shop owners are very cautious about getting shut down by Customs Inspectors. I struck out on most of the copy watches because there was only one stand open. The lady explained that it was a busy holiday weekend and the vendors were too nervous about being caught. At least I’ll be back in October and security shouldn’t be as tight then. It was only about 82 degrees but the humidity was 100%. I shipped back a couple of boxes of purchases and there was no air conditioning in the post office. The line was LONG and it was the worst part of the day for me. I shopped until about 2 pm then came back to the hotel. Found my sound engineer on the trip who had not even been over to the shopping street. What a disgrace! So, I grabbed him and went back over. He insisted that there was nothing he wanted to buy. HA! He was hooked in the first block. He purchased a beautiful handmade Coo-coo clock for his mom for $75 and then bought a hand-carved chess set for himself for $90. Which led to the dilemma of how to get these home. The chess set was made of stone and weighed about 45 pounds. So, he purchased a huge rolling suitcase for $35. In all, he dropped about $200 in less than an hour. The bases give me lots of credit for helping with Korea’s economy. J I tried to push the washer/dryer back into the closet because I had clothes in the dryer and couldn’t get the door to open. I pushed so hard, I heard something snap and I think I cracked a rib. It’s hard to take a deep breath and doesn’t feel any better this morning. Guess I’ll need to get that checked next week before I head to Switzerland. Finally had to get two of our guys to come up and move the darned thing back into place. The Squadron Commander hosted us at a nice dinner in a restaurant that hasn’t officially “opened” yet at the Officer’s Club. Then, Jolie decided she had to go back downtown to purchase a few last minute items. Of course, I convinced myself that I should buy a few more things and went with her. But, I quickly realized I was totally “fried” and just needed to come back, pack and get some sleep.
ROAD KILL – DAY SIX – JULY 6TH. Going home. Had a 5:45 am lobby call and everyone (except two guys who overslept) was on time, checked out and ready to go. Our hosts had prepared breakfast boxes, coffee and juice for the two hour trip to the airport. Check in was painless as they set up a line just for our group….Thanks to Northwest. We only had one little problem and that was a guy who locked his luggage and they needed to open it. He had already gone through security, but we got his key and I “identified” the objects for them….hair spray and shaving cream. When we got on the flight from Tokyo to Minneapolis, we learned that one of our flight attendants was from our USO tour a couple of weeks ago. She was so nice to all of us and it made for a really fun flight home. EXCEPT, the Korean man sitting next to me spilled an entire glass of water on me right after I had fallen asleep. It soaked my pants and the seat. We had to get a blanket and put in the seat since it was a full flight. But, it could have been much worse – it could have been something other than water. No problems clearing customs and now we’re in Minneapolis. All our luggage is still with us at this point J Made it home – safe and sound – with all our luggage and equipment. Glad I get to stay home for a week before having to head back to Switzerland.