OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
DAY ONE AND TWO: NASHVILLE TO FT. ROBINS GA TO ROTA, SPAIN
LEFT NASHVILLE EARLY THIS MORNING AFTER ONLY 2 HOURS OF SLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE. EASY, SHORT FLIGHT TO ATLANTA. MY ONLY PANIC ATTACK CAME DURING THE TWO MINUTES OF TAKE-OFF AS I WAS EAGERLY SCANNING THE SKY FOR PIECES OF METAL FLYING OFF THE PLANE.
MET JOLIE AND THE GUYS IN ATLANTA AND ALL OUR LUGGAGE ARRIVED AS WELL. DROVE ABOUT ONE AND ONE-HALF HOURS TO FT. ROBINS AFB WHERE THEY HAD ROOMS FOR US – AND INTERNET ACCESS. WHAT A GODSEND. I WAS ABLE TO ANSWER ALL MY EMAIL UNTIL WE LEFT FOR OUR “TERRORIST” BRIEFING BEFORE THE FLIGHT.
RIGHT NOW WE’RE ON A C-141 HEADED FOR ROTA, SPAIN – OUR FIRST STOP. RICOCHET, JOLIE & HER TWO GUYS, 30 MEMBERS OF THE AF RESERVE BAND, A LOCAL TV PERSONALITY AND ALL THE FLIGHT CREW AND STAFF ARE ON BOARD. A LITTLE OVERWHELMING SINCE I’M THE WORLD’S WORST WITH NAMES. I CAN TELL THERE’S GOING TO BE A LOT OF , “HEY, DUDE” GOING ON….
THEY DID PUT SEATS AND TOILETS IN FOR US. AND, WE HAD “MEAL SERVICE” – REALLY BAD, COLD BARBEQUE OR A COLD CHIK-FILET SANDWICH. GOOD THING EVERYONE WAS STARVING. OH, AND THE SEATS THAT THEY PUT IN FACING THE BACK OF THE PLANE – SO WE’RE “BACKING” OUR WAY TO SPAIN. NEVER FLOWN BACKWARDS FOR THIS LENGTH OF TIME BEFORE. PROBABLY BE AIR SICK BEFORE IT’S OVER.
JOLIE AND I GOT TO GO UP AND MEET THE FLIGHT CREW. WE HAVE TWO C-131’S AND THE CREW IS OUT OF OHIO. NICE GUYS! THE AF BAND IS CURRENTLY ON THE OTHER PLANE (LESS NAMES TO REMEMBER RIGHT OFF). BUT THERE ARE COUNTRIES WE WILL VISIT WHERE WE WILL HAVE TO ALL GO ON ONE PLANE. WE HAVE TO GET A “GAS MASK” BRIEFING BEFORE ONE OF OUR FLIGHTS TO A MORE DANGEROUS COUNTRY.
WE HIT THE GROUND RUNNING TOMORROW MORNING, SO DON’T KNOW WHEN I’LL BE ABLE TO SEND THIS, BUT YOU WILL GET IT EVENTUALLY.
JUDE
OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
DAY TWO AND THREE (NOVEMBER 15-16): ROTA, SPAIN
The flight was really, really HARD! Even though Jolie and I had the Exit Row, we were definitely NOT Business Class. The seats reclined all of 2 inches total and the NOISE. Conversation was impossible as you must wear ear plugs the entire time. Think of standing as close as humanly possible to a jet as it is taking off and multiple that times 9 hours! Plus, there are huge spotlights in the ceiling that are never turned off, the floor of the plane is freezing cold, so you have to keep your feet tucked up under you, AND you’re flying backwards. Everyone got a little sick on the landing. I’ll never complain about “coach” again.
We landed and were “detained” because Rota is owned by the Spaniards and we are just “renting”. Finally got in our rooms at 10:30 am and had to be in the lobby for a VIP lunch at 11:30 am. This, after NO sleep. Went straight from the lunch to visit the SeaBees and tour their side of the camp. Jolie got to drive a bulldozer and move some dirt around…Visited the base exchange and purchased our tacky “Spanish” souvenirs. Then we had to go tour a wine factory, have a typical Spanish meal (I’d definitely lose weight here) and watch a Flamenco Show that seemed to last for 5 hours. It was almost one am when we got back to billeting. People were literally falling asleep at their tables during the show. MUCH TOO LONG of a day considering we had just arrived.
As you must have guessed, I finally got email working around 1:15 am and stayed up most of the night catching up on correspondence. Today, Friday (I think), we had sound check at 9:30 am and then went to visit the crew on the U.S.S. Simon Morrison. They gave us a really nice tour of the ship. We now have all of 3 hours of “free” time before we depart for the show. Feels like we’ve been here a month and we haven’t even done the first show yet. We fly out immediately after the show for Sicily…we think. Both planes broke as we landed. Very typical with a C-141. Don’t know if either will be repaired and ready to fly tonight. We do know we’ll all be flying on one plane though, if we fly at all.
Attaching a shot of Jolie with the SeaBees and “Flat Stanley”. “Flat Stanley” is a school project for her son. Whoever takes “Flat Stanley” the farthest around the world, wins. I think Jolie’s son is going to win. She also took a photo with the steam roller that apparently made Stanley “flat”!
Jude
OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
END OF DAY 3 & DAY 4 (NOVEMBER 16-17):
ROTA, SPAIN & SIGONELLA, SICILY
OKAY, SO SPELL CHECK DIDN’T CATCH “FLAMIGO” — SORRY. IT WAS A FLAMENCO SHOW (I THINK THAT’S HOW IT’S SPELLED). GUESS SPELL CHECK IS TIRED AT 2 AM, TOO.
The show was great. Packed the house and, of course, Jolie rocked! She sold about half of the cds we brought and we still have 5 shows to go. After the show, all the equipment and luggage had to be put on pallets to go on the plane (yes, they got one plane up and running). We didn’t leave Rota until after 2 am and arrived Sigonella, Sicily at around 6 am. By the time we got in our rooms, there was about 3 hours to sleep then get up and go to a luncheon.
Sigonella is great – beautiful weather and the show is outdoors. We shopped at the base exchange then had an “early show”. Got a migraine right in the middle of meeting with the base Commander! The drummer for Ricochet was celebrating his 46th birthday, so we bought him a cake and had one of our AF musicians dress up as Elvis. Jolie called him up on stage after she sang “Suspicious Minds” and Elvis sang Happy Birthday to him. Don’t ask how I just happened to be carrying around an Elvis wig and costume….Ever ready, that’s me! No stripper this time for the birthday boy!
Jolie now has 10 cds left for 4 shows!
They took us out to a “farmhouse” for a traditional Italian meal and it was incredible. Just the antipasto bar was enough. Then they brought out pasta and finally trays of meat. Finished off the meal with Limoncello and a lemon cake. Jolie actually ate the antipasto and loved it. (She is a steak and potatoes girl normally). Even though we started the meal at 10 pm, it was not over until after 1 am!
OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
DAY 5 (NOVEMBER 18):
SIGONELLA, SICILY TO SPANGDAHLEM, GERMANY
I got 5 hours sleep which was a record for this trip and I got in a 1 ½ hour work out at the gym. I’m rejuvenated! You KNOW it’s been busy if this is the first time I’ve worked out since we left…
We had to put our bags outside the door by 9 am but we didn’t leave until 11 am. So, I decided to use the little amenities furnished by the room so I could go ahead and send my shampoo, conditioner, etc. in the luggage. Got in the shower – and by the way, there is NO hot water in this place – only slightly cooler than room temperature is the best available. So, you don’t want to spend a lot of time in the shower. Hey, at least we didn’t have the “attacking shower heads” this trip. At least, not yet! The little bottles of shampoo and whatever else they provided did not have labels on them! There was a yellow, green, blue, and white. I opted for the yellow for shampoo and whatever was in there definitely made a lather. Then I went with the white for conditioner and am pretty sure I conditioned my hair with lotion.
Started trying to wake Jolie up at 9:30 and she didn’t answer her door. Tried again after I showered and still no answer. I finally asked Ricochets road manager to do the “double” pounding on her door – nothing. Finally I stood outside the room, beat on the door and screamed her name and got her awake. She was so out of it.
When I got back from the gym, my room key no longer worked and I was reminded that Italians are definitely NOT service oriented. The maid was standing right beside my room and when I told her key would not work, she said in broken English, “checking out”. When I confirmed that we were, she shrugged her shoulders and walked away. I chased her down and made her open the door. Then, even though my “Do Not Disturb” sign was on the door, she starts banging on the door about 40 minutes later wanting to clean the room. I had to show her on her watch what time we were leaving and since I didn’t think she would comprehend 11:15 am, I opted for 11:00 am. Big mistake. At exactly 11:00 am, she’s pounding on the door again ready to clean the room. For God’s sake, we were checking out and I don’t know what her rush was. So, I stood in the hall for 15 minutes while Jolie finished dressing.
Got to the terminal and we had both of our planes back today. Got on the plane and sat for over an hour because one of the pallets on the other plane had a hole in it and they had to re-do the entire pallet! Finally took off and it was about a 4 hour flight. We will spend 4 days in Germany. Now, tell me why we can’t have 4 days in Italy instead of Germany. It’s going to be pomme frites and bratwurst instead of pizza and spaghetti!
Attaching a photo of Jolie with the Italian “police” and our “Elvis”.
OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
DAY 5 and 6(NOVEMBER 18-19):
SPANGDAHLEM, GERMANY
Arrived Germany and it is FREEZING….but no snow. We all have really nice rooms where we’ll be spending the next 4 nights – quite a luxury to be staying in one place for more than 1 night.
We all went down to a really great “gym” and worked out – twice in one day for me. The guilt was really getting to me.
When I checked into my room, the window had been left open and you would not believe how cold it was. I cranked the heat all the way up when I left for the gym. When I got back from the gym, it was still freezing. I called the desk and they said nothing could be done until the following day. I should just use lots of blankets. Stayed up until 2 am trying to get on-line with absolutely NO success. When I finally went to bed, it was so cold, I couldn’t sleep. Woke up with a really horrible cold.
Today we had instructions on how to put on our gas masks and deal with other types of chemical and biological warfare. It was very interesting but also quite a “wake-up” call. Jolie got to demonstrate the gas mask technique and I’m attaching a photo from that session.
We went to Trier today for sightseeing and shopping. It was awesome. Saw a beautiful cathedral where we saw the garment that Jesus wore when he was buried. Found some great “Christmas Gifts” in the little village.
Came back to find out that my room still has no heat and won’t have any until tomorrow (ha!, sure it will). I did finally raise enough hell that I got my email working in my freezing room.
We went to dinner at a beautiful little restaurant where we had weiner schnitzel (spelling?) and pomme frittes. The schnitzel was fried in butter and the french fries in lard! It was excellent, but we’ll need to do 3 hours at the gym tomorrow.
Jolie had some disturbing news. Just before we left for dinner, someone slipped a note under her door, knocked, and ran. She received a note saying that “they have Flat Stanley and he’s fine – for now – and a ransom note will follow”. She is devastated. Obviously, someone kidnapped Flat Stanley from her backpack today when they were getting a CreamSaver (lifesaver). We have an idea who it might have been but no proof. Hopefully she won’t get a photo of him being held over a paper shredder — or receive body parts in the mail — or proof that he’s been tortured with a hole punch. All kinds of thoughts running through her head. All we can do is wait for the next note.
One of the guys in Ricochet gets a ride in an F-16 tomorrow and we’re hoping that Flat Stanley will go along for that ride.
Have to go to another room to sleep tonight since it’s a refrigerator in mine. Hopefully they will fix the heat and I won’t have to move all my luggage again!
OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
DAY 7(NOVEMBER 20):
SPANGDAHLEM, GERMANY
Up early to do radio and tv interviews. Then off to an elementary school on base to visit with the children. Jolie LOVED this but it made her homesick for her 2 little boys. They sang a song for them and the children loved her.
Jolie was so worried about Flat Stanley because she really needed him for a photo with the children. Everyone kept telling her that they thought he was going on an F-16 ride with one of the Ricochet guys this afternoon. She did get a ransom note asking for $1,000 plus in pennies in a size 11 ½ Nike Shoe Box, etc., etc. Pretty unrealistic. And while she was doing her interviews, a photo copy of Flat Stanley with his head ripped off appeared on the wall outside the studio! But, when we arrived at the school, we found Flat Stanley on the grill of the van. So, he got to take his photo with the school kids and Jolie is being an “over-protective Mom” now!
It has been a real fight to make a long distance phone call from this base. We all purchased calling cards only to learn that even if you can ever access a line from your room (and most rooms don’t cooperate!), you are still charged $.85 per MINUTE by the base phone system PLUS your calling card is charged at the international rate. What a rip off!
Got in another good workout today but my cold is now “full blown”. Just hope I can shake it off quickly. Two other people are sick today, so I’m sure everyone will have the “crud” before the tour is over.
Had an Italian dinner on base (base food is ALWAYS horrible!) and then did a sound check. Actually might get into bed before 1 am tonight.
OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
DAY 8(NOVEMBER 21):
SPANGDAHLEM, GERMANY
Started out the day with a tour of the base and a tour of the F-16 fighter jets. Also went to the “fire department” and got a demonstration of how their fire equipment works on the larger planes like a C-5. There’s no ladder on the plane they have as it is too large for their hanger. But there’s this big, long “arm” that has a pointed pipe-like thing at the end of it and water shoots out of it. The metal tip can rip right into the airplane so that the water can be sprayed inside. Pretty interesting.
We then visited with about 50 people who were going through their briefings before they are deployed at the end of the week. All them were very proud to be serving their country and none of them showed any signs of fear. They have one long desk set up with separate counters so that the people being deployed can take care of all their business in one stop before they leave – anything from dental work to writing a will to support services for their families while they are gone. Very impressive.
Too bad I’m not close enough to call in to the radio station when they ask callers where they are going to spend Thanksgiving….My answer would be Germany, Macedonia, and Turkey!
Jolie broke her curling iron and ran out of hairspray! As any woman knows, this is truly a disaster! This base has the worst Exchange I’ve ever seen, so she now has some kind of “generic” hair spray and a curling iron designed to be used by Afro-American women….
Show tonight was great. Everything on base closed down so that everyone could attend – and they did. All the kids from the school that we visited the other day were there.
I kept warning Ricochet that “paybacks are hell” and tonight we got our chance. Everyone had to pack their bags and take them to the show with them so that they could be put on a pallet tonight for the plane. So, while the boys were on stage, I went in their luggage and stole ALL their underwear. Trust me, some of those boys NEED to do laundry. Just finished writing a “ransom” note only I typed it in German and signed it “Flat Stanley”. We’ll see how they react tomorrow. Which is a very early call, so I’m off to bed very soon now.
Photo is Jolie and Flat Stanley on the F-16.
Jude
OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
DAY 9 AND 10 (NOVEMBER 22-23):
SPANGDAHLEM, GERMANY; SKOPJE, MACEDONIA; INCIRLIK, TURKEY
Got up really early to fly to Macedonia for a show. The flight crew warned us that we were going to have to make a very “different” type of landing because it had to be a “combat” landing. They had to drop the plane very quickly instead of just “nosing it down”. The reason for this was because they had to “depressurize” the cabin in case we were shot at (very comforting). We went from like 20,000 feet to 10,000 feet in 2 minutes. It was like being on a really large roller coaster ride. Of course, with my cold, I thought my head would explode but I just kept pinching my nose and blowing and it wasn’t too bad.
We couldn’t take any photos on at Camp Able Sentry in Macedonia. We also could not walk anywhere without an armed escort. Our first escort was a young man from Sacramento, California who had arrived there less than a month ago and was hating it! He said he saw snow for the first time in his life and didn’t like it. It was brutally cold there. He also told me that he is 18 years old and has a wife and 3 year old daughter back at home! Said he got the girl pregnant when they were both 14 years old, married her and is still with her. He makes $2,000 twice a month and since all his expenses are covered, he sends it back home to them. He said that the Army helped him to straighten out his life and get focused. It was a pretty wonderful Thanksgiving story.
We met a group of Blackhawk Helicopter Pilots from Reno and Santa Fe and they let Jolie and I “play” in the plane (photo attached). We had lunch with the troops and you would not believe how beautiful the dining hall had been decorated for Thanksgiving. One of the servers was even dressed up as a pilgrim. And, the food wasn’t so bad – especially the pumpkin pie!
Jolie and I were a little worried because no one from Ricochet had mentioned the “ransom” note. We knew they had read it because our escort – Major Clark – speaks German and is the one who wrote the note. They found him the night before and he translated it for them.
We flew from Macedonia into Turkey and had quite a few problems getting past customs. It’s always that way in Turkey. Takes “lots” of bribes to get everyone in. This time they decided that there was a “newly imposed fee of $45 per person” as an entry fee. If you argued with them, it suddenly became $90 per person. So, the USO coughed up the cash and we left for a late-night dinner.
Oh, one of the planes is still broken – but this time with a different problem. They flew it from Germany to Sicily but had to overnight there instead of coming to Turkey because something else was broken.
When we got to our rooms at midnight, we realized one of Jolie’s bags was missing. We were not given a rooming list, so we had to wake up Major Clark to help us. He was rooming with Colonel Rinehart who decided to take charge. We had to go to the lodging office and start making calls. We finally learned that Ricochet was holding the bag hostage in exchange for their underwear! That was definitely out of line!!! It would have been fine for them to take Jolie’s underwear, but not her entire bag. So, I had to give them back their underwear and I had such grand plans for them. Such a shame!
Everyone agreed to get up and go to the gym the next morning at 9 am. So, guess who went – just me, of course. The first thing on the agenda was a shopping trip to Gold Alley. Our guys were late, so I went to shake them out. Walked past a couple of the Ricochet guys who had missed their ride into town. I told them that we had a nice, large van and if they hadn’t stolen Jolie’s bag the night before, we would have offered them a ride. One of the guys said “Let’s negotiate” and pulls out Flat Stanley! I have no idea how they got him out of Jolie’s bag this time. So we gave them a ride in exchange for Flat Stanley.
Jolie and I went into overdrive in Gold Alley. You would not believe the bargains on gold and silver jewelry, rugs, leather – unbelievable prices for 22 carat pieces. Got lots of Christmas shopping done. We didn’t eat anything until 4 pm in the afternoon because we didn’t want it to cut into our shopping time.
Went back to our rooms after an autograph session at the BX and I was delivered a video tape titled “Flat Stanley’s Night Out”! It was absolutely hilarious. In the video, he was “ironed”, placed in a toaster and a microwave, “flushed down a toilet”, and had a cigarette lighter placed to his crotch!
So, the guys are definitely winning and that is totally unacceptable. We cannot allow that. The best we could come up with tonight was to vaseline their doorknobs. Pretty lame. If anyone has any suggestions, email me quickly! We’re desperate!!!!
There is so much “trash” on the phone lines, that’s getting on-line takes about a half hour. Hopefully this will go out WITH the attachment!
Jude
OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
DAY 11 (NOVEMBER 24):
INCIRLIK, TURKEY
Well! I managed to pick up a conversation in Russian while trying to connect to AOL last night. Every time you hear it dialing, there’s a different noise or conversation taking place. It took over an hour to get a clear line for a connection.
Started out the day with a 5:30 am job. I forgot my passport and went back to my room to get it. I passed one of the Ricochet boys coming down our sidewalk (they are on the other side of the building) and assumed he was up to some sort of prank!
We all went to breakfast with the troops and the base commander. Then we had a tour of “tent city”. There are so many troops stationed here at this time that there are not enough rooms for them, so they have built tents for them to live in. They are actually very nice – heated and cooled, have a kitchen, bedroom, and sitting room. After the tour, we SHOPPED – imagine that. Also had lunch at a traditional Turkish restaurant and it was great. The owner was a bit of a character and had Jolie chopping a toothpick in two with a huge knife. He made her take off her shoe and stand in a container of water. Then, the last time she tried, he blindfolded her and put her sock in place of the toothpick. She unknowingly chopped it in half. It was cold and raining all day long, so she had to buy more socks before her foot froze!
We decided to get a manicure – cost $2! For $5, you can get a manicure and a pedicure. A 30 minute massage is $7. But, wait, let me tell you why. They don’t clean their instruments between customers. They do one manicure and/or pedicure and stick everything in a drawer. Then the next person comes in and they use the same instruments on them – without even washing them. I was freaking out. It was too late to stop my manicure, but I didn’t go for the pedicure after that. We’re all going to soak our hands in peroxide tonight and pray we don’t get some kind of bacterial infection!
Show was in a hanger and it was absolutely freezing in there. Never warmed up, not even for Jolie on stage. Big crowd, though. We had a nice dinner afterwards and now we have to get up at 4 am to fly to the Azores. Hope I have email access there.
Jude
OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
DAY 12 (NOVEMBER 25 – 1 MONTH FROM CHRISTMAS!!!):
INCIRLIK, TURKEY TO LAJES, AZORES
I had a 4:30 am wake-up call to have bags out and go to breakfast before flying to the Azores. It had poured rain all day yesterday and this morning it was still raining. As usual, nothing went as scheduled. We were set to take off at 7 am, but because there was lightning within 5 miles, we were delayed. Jolie curled up in a ball on the floor of the dining hall and slept until we left for the plane at about 9 am. Thank God we were flying with the “friendly” crew from CA.
I went up to the flight deck for take-off and was on a set of headphones. We taxied into position and then were told to hold off because they had found a hole in the runway. Someone went out to inspect it and didn’t feel confident to make the call, so they sent another person out. We were already concerned about having enough fuel to make it to the Azores because of our weight and sitting on the runway an additional 20 minutes was NOT good. They finally allowed us to take off and once we got above the clouds, it was an incredibly smooth flight. I stayed in the cockpit the entire trip and we got Jolie into one of the crew’s bunks. She slept for the entire 9 hour flight! We flew over the Strait of Gibraltar and it was awesome. The last time I saw that part of the world was when we flew over it at midnight. Naturally, we landed too late to go into the village for any shopping or sightseeing, so we went into town and had dinner then went to bed. They had given Jolie and I really “nasty” rooms and we had to share a bathroom. I got them to change us to another building but she felt too bad to move, so I moved and left her with the bathroom.
OPERATION SEASONS GREETINGS 2001
DAY 13(NOVEMBER 26):
LAJES, AZORES
We were supposed to go to a hosted breakfast with the commander at 7 am but when I gave Jolie her wake-up call, she was too sick to go. We blew off everything for the day and took her to the clinic to try and get some medicine that would help her get through the show tonight.
If the LA flight crew’s plane that was being repaired in Germany doesn’t arrive today, we all have to cram on one plane for the 8 hour flight back to the U.S. tomorrow. It won’t be a pretty story!
Jolie definitely has the flu. I was able to get her to take an IV so that she might feel good enough to do the show. She performed and did a great job but she is really, really sick. I hate for her to have to fly home like this, especially since the other plane did NOT get fixed and we’re all flying back in one aircraft. It won’t be pretty!!! We went into town without her today and took Flat Stanley. We took photos of “Flat Stanley’s Day Out Without Mom”. He got into the alcohol, fed the sharks, and chased women!
It was a terrific last show – full of the usual pranks. One of Ricochets guys’ taped a sign on the back of the lead singer that said “Autograph Line Starts Here” and he danced around in it for most of the show. Then I dressed up 3 of the Air Force Band guys in Elvis wigs, scarves, and aviator sunglasses and had them go on stage in the middle of “Daddy’s Money” and “dance like Elvis”. The funniest part was two of the “Elvis imitators” were black.
We had a little good-bye gathering at a club after the show and I played the “Flat Stanley’s Night Out” video for everyone. Then I played a video titled “Exhibit A” that the flight crew put together for me. It had footage of Eddie with Ricochet bragging about kidnapping Flat Stanley. It was a nice ending to a very long, very successful tour.
It’s after midnight and bags are out at 7:15 am tomorrow. Hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and hope you enjoyed the road reports.
Jude